I have felt the rush of talking and being around someone I ‘love’. It is intoxicating, thrilling and everything good. I’m not sure I have the words to describe it…

I saw a tweet that made fun of sapiosexuality, or rather, people that claim to be sapiosexuals. It claimed that as soon as the tweeter saw that in someone’s bio and went through their account, it more often than not led to a conclusion that this is some very foolish person. I am not sure about this sapiosexuality notion, but have you ever argued on an ‘intellectual’ level and actually found the person attractive? Ever found yourself wondering why this person thinks the way they do, what goes on in their minds and if there is more where that came from?


I haven’t.

Spanish is extremely sexy. I can listen to one song on repeat. I have always wondered why music is so inspiring. Music is everything, for instance… Have you watched a scene in a movie with and without the background music? You might just find yourself playing it at the back of your mind. I have never understood the impact it has on various things, it just brings out the exact feelings the directors intended to, that is, if you find the right piece.

However, how does it affect our brains? I need someone in the medical profession to answer this one. There are tasks that I accomplish faster with music playing in my headpiece, like writing this article. Speaking of articles, I was texting with a friend of mine and he was like,

“Have you thought of blogging?”

And in my mind I was like… ‘I already write articles, I already blog. I have a blog, you have seen it before.’

What I ended up texting back was “I thought what I do is blogging.”

And he was like, “no .” “For real? ”

“You have been doing it all wrong. I swear. There is a better way of doing it…”

That should have seriously crushed my spirits but I really laughed at that. I guess I still have a lot to learn. I am still laughing.

Music. When I am working on other things, I cannot play music. I find it distracting. I wonder why. The answer may not be as simple as most people think. I say that because when I asked my friends about it, they seemed to link it to serious and less serious tasks. However, I don’t think that’s completely true. I work on ‘serious’ tasks with music on, I read case laws with music on and I write reports with music on too. Sometimes, I cannot concentrate with it on while doing ‘less serious’ tasks, like writing an article, transferring notes and so on. I think it goes deeper than that, well, unless someone proves me wrong.

So, love? Hmm.

I think it is very abstract. You can turn it on and off to your convenience. However, I like the feelings that come with it when one is not faking it. The association of these feelings with a particular piece of music is the greatest or lamest thing ever, depending on how your vibe is. I like the butterflies in my tummy, I like the stupid grin plastered on my face for most of the time, I like feeling euphoric, happy and free. I like running and nature trailing feeling this ‘love’. However, I hate feeling vulnerable, I hate getting hurt or getting my hopes up just to have them shattered. I hate feeling completely foolish and worst of all, I hate broken trust. However, this is the risk we all take when we choose to sort of care for someone a bit more than we care about ourselves. This risk, this uncertainty, is something most people do not like. However, if the person you ‘love’ is worth it, then I guess everything will be worth it.

One thing that I never understood though, how can we love and fall out of love? I have seen this in movies and in real life as well. I do not believe in this completely absurd notion, no offence. I believe that once you ‘love’ you forever love, and falling out of love is just loving someone to a lesser degree. If we fall out of love, did we really love? It does not really make sense to me to love and hate at the same, or after hating after we love. But if this is really true, then it means that my first notion about love was right all along. Feelings of love are more like something you can turn on and off at your convenience. Think about it.

Oh, while you are at it, try some Spanish songs. The guitars… The guitars.

#Stay home.


3 a.m. Thoughts


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May 2024