I have never been so embarrassed!

However, now that I can look back and have a laugh, I am indeed grateful for the experiences I have had in campus. For those who read what I write, you must know that I was a little shy when I came to law school. Well, I have been a little introverted since I joined high school and before I got to third year. I loved the new friends I made and they did push me out of my safe zone. I can attest that it was not easy to feel that uncomfortable, or that vulnerable. I can say, however, that it paid off and that I have never been less me!

You probably know how random I can get, right? So I am on my bed going through my laptop when I see a document titled “Countering Violent Extremism” and I immediately start laughing! So in third year while I was starting to get out of my comfort zone, I was a member of a club which got me a seat at a conference held in Strathmore University. Truth be told, I had never been to Strath and I never really thought I would, and neither did I ever have an interest in doing so either.

So I had committed to giving a presentation on violent extremism and as the date grew closer, I began to regret it. However, I am not a quitter, so I choose to attend. This was probably the first time I would stand in front of a large crowd and give my opinion on a topic I had prepared for. Class presentation is not close to what I felt while standing on that podium that day. Anyway, I get there and I was completely intimidated by the infrastructure of this private university. Do not even talk about its students! I walked into the large hall and I felt the urge to just sit down and think this over.

Then it hit me: I had no idea on how to operate the damn seats! I am 21 years old, in third year, grew up in a small town in Kenya, went to some high school up in the cold Mount Kenya so believe me when I say, I was blown away when I came to Strath. I spot some guys working the equipment and decide that I should at least ask for help, right? Wrong! After I mustered up enough courage, I walked on over to one and politely asked him to help me with my seat. I sincerely hope that I did not blush because honestly, I was about to die of embarrassment!

The day went by quickly and I pretty much learnt a lot. I actually enjoyed being here. However, I did not go for lunch and even though my parents gave me more money than I actually needed for the day, I could not help but feel that if I did have a plate, that I would not be able to pay for it. But wait a minute, I would probably afford it but the anxiety I had at that time was the reason for my total lack of appetite. Not eating did not help my case at all because after lunch, we were scheduled to give our presentations. I was freaking out.

Do not even get me started on the fact that everyone else had a freaking presentation! I had a speech! What in the world?! In all honesty, I believe that my speech was very detailed and very well researched on, yet brief and precise. However, everything about this day threw me off balance and I was panicking. I did not need this at all and why in the world was I even here? Oh, right. Getting out of my comfort zone, trying out new activities and practicing my ‘advocacy’ skills. My name was called out and I walked to the podium.

The lights from the cameras were blinding and there was deaf silence. The persons working the equipment were in my face trying to get the tiny microphone on me. All eyes were on me and I immediately knew that this was the last place on earth I wanted to be…


3 a.m. Thoughts


No responses yet

Leave a Reply

Latest Comments

  1. Haha! It could, as well, have been written by him, so many people had the same thoughts, and I am…

  2. Thank you! I am kinda sad that we were unable to keep writing for such a long time. However, we…

May 2024