I just saw a post on Facebook …

Funny thing, I am not a socials person. I deleted my Twitter account because it took me nearly four years to understand how it worked. I blame myself though, I was hardly interested. Instagram, hmm … Just photos? Yeah I’m sure its an amazing app, I just never found appropriate use for it. I converted my personal account to a professional one about my website, then got bored. I think socials are too much work. I also think that the only reason Facebook worked for me is because I had the account while I was younger. I remember waiting patiently until I was done with high school to have the account. I was 17.

Did you know Chance the Rapper is exactly five years older than me? Oh, did I mention that Akon, Chance and I share the same birthday? Greatness right there.

Like I was saying, I saw a post, “I will never give a fuck the same way twice” and was like, yeah, i’mma post that. The psychology of social media works like that, and not that I sought to target anyone in particular, this is just how I felt at that moment. It is still how I feel as I type my thoughts away with my headset on. I have had the most difficult of times over the past few months and I think that if I had the time and energy, I’d probably scream my lungs out. Sigh, I’m not trying to be a downer or anything, but it is what it is.

However, I am extemely proud of the steps I have taken. I think that I am a contradiction of personalities; both fiesty yet calm, fiery yet cool, disconnected yet kind. However, what I am not, is a saint. I think I am one of the most difficult people to deal with, the most frustrating and I dare say, the most annoying. I am emotional yet very rational, and this conflict of personalities has cost me my social life. Being assertive yet very shy has caused me to explode more than once, especially when someone continuously stepped on my toes. You would think from my writing, that I am very expressive, yet in person, I would prefer to watch things unfold from the sidelines, until I cannot stay silent anymore.

I am extrmely happy to have chosen to stand up for myself.

I am more excited that I asked someone to choose to either accord me respect, or to leave. They did leave, and even though I wanted with every fibre of my being for them to stay, I gave them a choice and they made it. I chose me, not to compromise, and I hope that you will do so too.

I have been wrong on many instances, but I have been quick to apologise. More often than not, I have felt like I have been placed on my defence for being who I am. For persons who would rather choose to stay indoors than go out, for those who prefer solitude to crowds, those who prefer a good book and wine to other perople’s company … it is pretty much okay to be … YOU. However, don’t forget to explode, to scream or sing out of tune while taking a shower to let it all out.

My name is Hope Wambui. Wambui is Kikuyu and literally translates to singer of songs. My personal preference is singing out of tune. I think this is the one hobby I am completely good at being horrible. I absolutely love it, and honestly, when you catch me at it, show love and mind your damn business. It’s a flex.

Just so you know, I would not re-post it, because I probably will always give a fuck, just not in the same way.

Love and light.