“Nothing happened, we just got into a big fight and I just … I love him, I really do. I know he loves me too but, this one, this one pisses the fuck out of me.”

She paced around her apartment in a fit to calm down before she said something to him that they both might not come out of, and sighed, defeated.

“Its really the ones that we would absolutely move the world for that really get under our skin. But really, I should ask myself why I get so worked up.”

“But you already know that, don’t you?”

She nodded, reluctantly, and paused.

“Before I gave myself to him, I really thought about whether or not he was worthy to share my bed, to share my home, my love or my life. What I have to give is far much valuable, far too precious to have it trampled on, or to be considered as someone else’s fleeting moment of pleasure.”

She looked up at herself in the mirror.

“He is worthy,” she said. “I am a lot to handle and he does not even choose handle me. He stands and lets me burn out when I am on fire. He doesn’t even try to put me out, he holds my hand and I see that his hand is on fire, but it does not burn, regardless of how much it hurts. When my rage is calmer and my chaos is contained, he puts his hands around me and holds me. He makes me feel safe. When I choose to give myself to him, when I choose to surrender and trust, I know within me, that this is the only person with whom I am completely safe with.”

“Well then, allow him to hold your heart and trust that even if it breaks while he holds it, you will both work towards mending and healing it. You do not belong to him, nor he you. You belong together. Work with that in mind.”

That following night, the rain pounded against the windows as the wind shook the trees with such might, declaring its power over the raging storm. The blinding lighting cracked announcing its arrival, lighting up the skies. She remembered everything as if she relived the memory …

He lifts up his arm and smiles, beckoning her to join him. Covering her breasts as she walks by, she passes him and walks towards the stereo set to play some soothing music. He was halfway covered, sprawled across the rug on the floor where he had just taken her. She joined him and lay beside his naked body while he covered them both and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

“Hey,” she cooed.

“Hi,” he replied, staring into her eyes.

“What are you looking at?”

“Your eyes. They are the most beautiful set I have seen. I tend to get lost in them.” She giggled, shyly. “If you ask anything of me when you look at me like that, I will give you the world.”

“I don’t want the world, but I would love it if you were in mine.”

He smiled and kissed her. “I love you.”

“I know,” she said as she stroked his beard. He closed his eyes and felt every trace of her finger across his face, acknowledging the movement and surrendering to it. She watched him, watched how quickly he fell under her spell and watched him get vulnerable with her in this trance-like state. She reached up to him and kissed his cheek, biting his lower chin and settling under him. This made him laugh and wrap his arm closer around her.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember how his skin felt against hers, how his scent made her weak and how he stared deeply into her eyes as he inserted himself into her. She remembered his laugh and his kisses on her neck. She remembered how he would interlock his fingers with hers when he took her and how good his weight felt when he was on top of her.

“Are you mine, completely?” She whispered in his ear as he stared down at her.

“Yes, I am yours, completely.” He said and kissed her passionately.

She smiled and remembered how happy he makes her, how complete he makes her and how protective he is of her. She felt his love for her radiate from him and warm her heart. She remebered all these things with the storm brewing outside. She knew deep down that she loved him because he loved her, even in the moments she did not love herself. She cherished this moment and to her is still as vivid as the smell of the earth as the rain wets it.


3 a.m. Thoughts


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  1. Haha! It could, as well, have been written by him, so many people had the same thoughts, and I am…

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